Everything is Fantastic
During the day I am a mild-mannered, unassuming girl of twenty-three. At night I am robbing banks, exploring lost civilizations, and saving the world. This blog has nothing to do with either.

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buttonpoetry:

Ebony Stewart - “Box”

"There is no skull and crossbones over your heart. You are a good thing, that somebody be dying to get next to."

Performing at the 2014 Women of the World Poetry Slam.

The sex ed question box always had the best questions.

Most girls are relentlessly told that we will be treated how we demand to be treated. If we want respect, we must respect ourselves.

This does three things. Firstly, it gets men off the hook for being held accountable for how they treat women. And secondly, it makes women feel that the mistreatment and sometimes outright violence they face due to their gender is primarily their fault. And thirdly, it positions women to be unable to speak out against sexism because we are made to believe any sexism we experience would not have happened if we had done something differently.

I cannot demand a man to respect me. No more than I can demand that anybody do anything. I can ask men to be nice to me. But chances are if I even have to ask he does not care to be nice. I can express displeasure when I’m not being respected. But that doesn’t solve the issue that I was disrespected in the first place.

I can choose to not deal with a man once he proves to be disrespectful and/or sexist. But even that does not solve the initial problem of the fact that I had to experience being disrespected in the first place.

As a young girl, I wish that instead of being told that I needed to demand respect from men that I had been told that when I am not respected by men that it’s his fault and not mine. But that would require that we quit having numerous arbitrary standards for what it means to be a “respectable” woman. It would mean that I am not judged as deserving violence based on how I speak, what I wear, what I do, and who I am.

The best thing about never working out is that when you tell yourself, “I have eaten this bag of marshmallows and sat on the couch all day in the past but today I will at least do some stretches or something,” it makes it seem like eating an entire bag of marshmallows is a good thing.

Just tellin’ it like it is

Just tellin’ it like it is

(Source: spookymodernjazz)

How every day is started

How every day is started

(Source: sexanddrugsandcats)

When [an abusive man] tells me that he became abusive because he lost control of himself, I ask him why he didn’t do something even worse. For example, I might say, “You called her a fucking whore, you grabbed the phone out of her hand and whipped it across the room, and then you gave her a shove and she fell down. There she was at your feet where it would have been easy to kick her in the head. Now, you have just finished telling me that you were ‘totally out of control’ at that time, but you didn’t kick her. What stopped you?” And the client can always give me a reason. Here are some common explanations:

"I wouldn’t want to cause her a serious injury."
“I realized one of the children was watching.”
“I was afraid someone would call the police.”
“I could kill her if I did that.”
“The fight was getting loud, and I was afraid the neighbors would hear.”

And the most frequent response of all:

"Jesus, I wouldn’t do that. I would never do something like that to her.”

The response that I almost never heard — I remember hearing it twice in the fifteen years — was: “I don’t know.”

These ready answers strip the cover off of my clients’ loss of control excuse. While a man is on an abusive rampage, verbally or physically, his mind maintains awareness of a number of questions: “Am I doing something that other people could find out about, so it could make me look bad? Am I doing anything that could get me in legal trouble? Could I get hurt myself? Am I doing anything that I myself consider too cruel, gross, or violent?”

A critical insight seeped into me from working with my first few dozen clients: An abuser almost never does anything that he himself considers morally unacceptable. He may hide what he does because he thinks other people would disagree with it, but he feels justified inside. I can’t remember a client ever having said to me: “There’s no way I can defend what I did. It was just totally wrong.” He invariably has a reason that he considers good enough. In short, an abuser’s core problem is that he has a distorted sense of right and wrong.

I sometimes ask my clients the following question: “How many of you have ever felt angry enough at youer mother to get the urge to call her a bitch?” Typically half or more of the group members raise their hands. Then I ask, “How many of you have ever acted on that urge?” All the hands fly down, and the men cast appalled gazes on me, as if I had just asked whether they sell drugs outside elementary schools. So then I ask, “Well, why haven’t you?” The same answer shoots out from the men each time I do this exercise: “But you can’t treat your mother like that, no matter how angry you are! You just don’t do that!”

The unspoken remainder of this statement, which we can fill in for my clients, is: “But you can treat your wife or girlfriend like that, as long as you have a good enough reason. That’s different.” In other words, the abuser’s problem lies above all in his belief that controlling or abusing his female partner is justifiable….

Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (via seebster)
Maybe this is a crazy question, but how did Europeans know what Africans looked like? I know that some of the paintings here are of North Africans/Middle Easterners, but others clearly depict people born south of the Sahara. I've heard of Prester John but I never imagined that medieval Europeans were aware that Prester John would have had brown skin. Am I missing something?

medievalpoc:

personalseries1:

medievalpoc:

Like. There are a lot of things I could say here. But I’m just going to do my best to answer your question, and the answer is either very simple or very complicated, depending on your current point of view.

1. “They” knew what people with brown skin looked like because people with brown skin had been there literally THE ENTIRE TIME. Some (and father back, ALL) of “them” had brown skin themselves.

2. “People with Brown Skin” and “Europeans” are not separate and mutually exclusive groups.

3. No matter how far back you go, the mythical time that you’re looking for, when all-white, racially and culturally isolated Europe was “real”, will continue to recede from your grasp until it winkles out the like imaginary place it is.

We can just keep going back. In every area, from all walks of life, rich and poor, kings and peasants, artists and iconoclasts, before there were countries and continents, before there were white people.

Russia, 1899:

image

Switzerland, c. 1800:

image

Netherlands, 1658:

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Poland, 1539:

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Germany, 1480s:

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Spain, 1420s:

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France, 1332:

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Scotland, England, France, 1280s:

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France, 1220s:

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England, 1178:

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Belgium, 1084:

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Greece, c. 1000:

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Spain, 850s:

image

Throughout Europe, 800s-500s:

image

England, c. 300 AD:

image

Scotland, c. 100 AD:

image

image

Italy, 79 AD:

image

Greece, 170 B.C.:

image

Greece, 300 B. C.:

image

Greece, 400s B.C.

image

Greece, 500s B.C.:

image

Egypt, 1200s B.C.:

image

Crete (Minoan), 1600 B.C.:

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Crete (Minoan), early 2000s B.C.:

image

Romania, 34,000 B.C.:

image

The time when “EVERYONE” in Europe was White does not exist. They knew what people with brown skin looked like because they were there. They knew what “Africans” looked like because they were there, and they weren’t “they”, they were us, or you. I think what you’re missing is something that never existed.

That is wrong. Black people in Europe came from Africa. You are forgetting that people traveled long distances even in Antiquity. There are no, and there never were indigenous black people in Europe.

And half of pictures posted are not really black people.

image

I just can’t argue with the exactly zero sources you provided for those statements. We all have to go home now.

so turned on right now

nocashforknowledge:

My education book is keepin it real

This warning label should be on everything everywhere

nocashforknowledge:

My education book is keepin it real

This warning label should be on everything everywhere

(Source: odinallfathergivemestrength)

  • Friend: So how do you think you've changed since high school?
  • Me: Well I became aware of oppressive power structures and how we are complicit in them and now seek to dismantle them.
  • Friend: ...
  • Me: I also think I got hotter.